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Mea Saurus - An Artist's Confessions
I have recently published a semi-autobiographical book in paperback
(available from Rose Dog Books and Amazon.com for $ 18.00). At left is the cover, which is a colorized version of one of
my old drawings with my face inserted in the center. BE WARNED! This book is not about my accomplishments. It is a detailed
account of the screwed-up person I used to be. As the title indicates, it is a confession- but it also contains some of my
best and most emotional prose. It's worth reading, but the content, related with profane language, may shock you. Especially
after seeing all the culturally uplifting paintings showcased on this website, you will not expect the sordid details of the
"candid camera" used on myself in the book.
If you read it you will discover that I was not always an accomplished
painter and thinker. Twenty years ago, I was a drug-using moron with neither higher education degrees nor future. It was only
beginning in the mid nineties when I was in my forties that I turned my life around, quit drugs, put art first, returned to
school, and learned how to paint like this.
I was an artist at ten years old, filled with potential and promise, but
due to my involvement with the "music scene" years ago, I was heading for oblivion by age thirty.
Yes, I was always an artist, but when stoned my painting looked like this:
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| "You Resolidified" (1975) Oil on canvas board |
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| Stoned on pot "surrealism"- or would you call it psychedelic art? |
The book was a kind of self-help therapy for me after my mother died in 2006. I had returned to church, but still couldn't
shake my doubts about the afterlife. I still struggle with it, but just in case it's not all bull, and there's a chance that
I may be reunited with my mom and dad in heaven, I publicly confessed all my sins in the book as penance. It is an embarrassing
thing to reveal all my secret activities and thoughts in print, but hopefully "the truth will set me free" and get me square
with God. (I have not had as many sexual exploits as say, Picasso, so don't expect a lot of material in this area, but I did
blabber everything that I did.)
At least it may make interesting reading. So, if you're open-minded and now, since you've been warned about the lurid details,
check it out. But you will find it hard to believe that the man who painted the pictures on this website wrote that book!
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All paintings by Robert Raymond Mehling
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